Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
