I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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