I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
