my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
