and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
