Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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