Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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