I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
