is your mom at the bar?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
