Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
