i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
