So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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