Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
