How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
