Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
