I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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