we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
