I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
