Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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