I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
