Someone shit on the floor
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have feelings that need drinking.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
