put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
