11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
