am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
