Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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