Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
