who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I have aggressive nipples.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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