You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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