just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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