i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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