benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
