I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she looked like the before picture.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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