She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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