is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
