Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
