I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
