hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He shit in the fireplace
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
