if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Who died my cat blue again?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This can only be settled by a dance off.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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