I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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