There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
