i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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