he puts the penis in happiness.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
