I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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