Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
