Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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