the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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