return my video game
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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