Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
