Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
