I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Randomize
