I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
