I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
